Just got to thinking...
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Author:  ToGoBeyond [ Oct 4, 2006 2:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Just got to thinking...

Hello all,

I'm a newbie to the website, but heard about the comments and postings on the news at the end of last week and thought I might join and share some thoughts.

I went to school to be a teacher...and was in the first of my education courses--the one that gets you all psyched up about being a teacher--when Columbine took place. Today I am not teaching--I actually work for a University as an academic counselor. I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to be up there teaching--I always envisioned myself being a Chris Farley-like teacher that inspired kids. But after student teaching caused nightmares, I decided it wasn't for me.

But those who do, or have, or are going to--I hold so much respect for all of them. When did teaching start to hold the same fear as a policeman's job--would your spouse, partner, lover, father, mother, or friend have THAT day, and not come home? When did school become a scary place?

I cannot recall the young man's name, but the one who said he did one thing last week at Bailey, and it turns out that never happened? I have so much admiration for that young man. All he wanted was to be a hero--so much that he would make something up that never happened. But then to come back and say it never happened but that he WISHED it had happened, so maybe he wouldn't feel so bad...oh my dear friend. We all have those times. I just wish he knew how much just that thought--good, bad or indifferent--means. How courageous and strong and brave he is to just WANT to be a hero. So many of us don't have that chance, nor do we aspire for that great height. For what it's worth--just that thought can sometimes be enough, even if not carried out just was the fact that it was wanted more than anything.

I never knew Emily Keyes. I just moved here from Arizona in March. I don't believe I have ever seen Bailey, Colorado. But that lovely young ever hear music when watching a scene go by? Maybe when riding in the car or watching a leaf fall? Well, maybe I am the only one who thinks life has it's own silent soundtrack. But when I saw Emily's picture, there's this soft, peaceful, beautiful melody that plays. Maybe that is strange not knowing her at all or anything about her, but...what am I trying to say?? =) That smile lives on...and this idea of "paying it forward" and doing a random act of kindness is such a beautiful thing. For those who knew her I am sure it matches her personality. But for someone who doesn't and only has a picture to rely on--I, too, am sure we've hit the mark.

Life--and this world--has its scary moments. And we all have those days weeks, months, sometimes years of partly cloudy to dark and gloomy times. Just keep searching and listening for the music that follows you. The symphony of your world...your life. Be inspired if not inspiring. Aspire to be a hero, even if you don't think you are one. Keep smiling. Wink. Hug.

And always take care of each other.

With hope,

Andy Malinski

Author:  bdogsgal [ Oct 4, 2006 2:45 pm ]
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:yeah that:

Author:  ToGoBeyond [ Oct 4, 2006 2:48 pm ]
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Thanks! Just had some thoughts running through my head... =)

Author:  roadkween [ Oct 4, 2006 2:50 pm ]
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Amen to that!

Author:  DaisyLover [ Oct 4, 2006 2:57 pm ]
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Andy, I was Emily's substitute teacher since she was in 6th grade and she is JUST what you described. She was polite, kind, quiet and a delight in every sense of the word. She was a gentle spirit with so much respect for her peers and her teachers. I think about her every day and can't believe that I will never see her class...........or in life. My heart aches for her and her family that I don't have words to express it.

It helps to read what you wrote and that she touched your life as she touched mine.

Author:  TyFars [ Oct 4, 2006 3:14 pm ]
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I am a total mess right now. You all have touched my heart so deeply with this! I admire your view of Cassidy. He wanted to do something! He wished he had! I know allthe boys, young men, in that class must be so tortured for not kicking that guys butt! Not ambushing him. It is so easy to be a Monday morning quarterback---but who knows what one would do in that situation. Cassidy fantasized he tried something nobel. And that is OK by me!

As a kid in school in the 70 and 80's we had fire drills and tornado drills. I just missed the bomb drills. But never in my wildest dreas did I ever envision a MANIAC coming into my classrooom and shooting at people. How do the kids today go to school without fear? I kiss my wee ones an extra kiss now and pray.

Your words are lovely, Andy. And Daisy, you will be watched over my Emily's spirit. I cannot stop crying. I hope this can one day stop, but I fear we are only getting closer and closer to suicide bombers here in USA. Not for political points. But for being mad, insane, angry and/or bitter. It is a terrifying prospect. But while I am fearful, I will not let that fear paralyze me and my family.

God Bless all of us!

Author:  ToGoBeyond [ Oct 4, 2006 3:52 pm ]
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I am glad I could write something that means so much to a couple hurting souls...

As I said, I never knew Cassidy or Emily, but both are such heroes. I was always one of those guys that made friends easier with the girls than the boys. Although a big guy that was a football coach's dream, I took up the trumpet and rocked with the marching band. And yes, I still cry at Titanic. =)

So, I can only imagine all those young men having to leave their sisters or girlfriends, or even just friends behind for whatever was to come next. And though, like Cassidy, we think one thing but do another, or seek out our revenge when we couldn't hurt a flea--to see those we admire, love, and hold close to our hearts left behind...I can't imagine that hurt.

I've seen the movies like Thirteen and Kids--where these young souls grow up too fast or do or face things that we as adults may not even know about...and it scares the Hell out of us. When I was student teaching, I had one of my brightest young ladies--an 8th grader--get suspended for a slam book which divulged her weekend "activities" at the local University. And it scared me because there were things mentioned in this slam book that I, as a 22 year old guy didn't even know about!

But these things can't bring us down. There is so much these kids can do and give. The author Chris Crutcher really helps with this idea with all of his books, as painful as they can be to read. But these kids are incredible. Yeah, they may know some vocabulary in 7th grade that the rest of us learned in college, but all the same...when it comes down to it, they are amazing. And we can not forget that.

I hope when I can get these melodies out of my head and played on the piano that I can do justice to what Emily's melody must sound like. And for Cassidy--nothing but the loudest trumpets and the biggest an Olympic Anthem.

Author:  DaisyLover [ Oct 4, 2006 4:17 pm ]
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Andy, Emily played the saxophone in 6th grade. I was a long-term sub for the band teacher when she was in 6th grade band and that is when I got to know her. She was the image of innocence learning to play the sax. She would hit a wrong note, look up at me and we would just laugh and laugh. I didn't know how to play the sax and could not help her so I just laughed and she had the most infectious giggle ever. I miss her so much.

Author:  ToGoBeyond [ Oct 4, 2006 4:22 pm ]
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I'm sure you do, daisy. She sounds like a wonderful young lady. And you can't beat an infectious giggle. =)

"We are from the fire
Living in the fire
Go back to the fire
Turn the world around.

Woah--so is life
A-ba-ti-wa-ha so is life.

Do you know who I am
Do I know who you are
See we one another clearly
Do we know who we are."

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